Nakshu Tango Private (06.11.20)

I just returned from her to my bed the days had past but one night I was having full fever I just knocked her doorI said about my fever she just took a thermometer and placed in my mouth it was very high she just said you sleep here only today in morning I’ll take you to the dispensary I just slept in hall she just checked my temperature by keeping her hand on my forehead and she just placed a wet cloth on the forehead and said to remove my shirt and she just washed my body through wet cloth so that the temperature should not rise but her touch was making me hot even my heart beat was raising she just said remove shorts alsoI just ignored she said your temperature is rising so remove your shorts now I was my underwear she was cleaning my body she just turned on the light I was feeling shy I just put a hand on my cock and I was trying to hide it from her she just gave a smile and took my hands from there, She was busy in cleaning I was working on her boobs she was in nighty and she. One youabsolutely have to keep up, one you should, one you'd better and oneyou'd ideally, maybe even more. Very, very demanding. When not in bedwith him, I always feel under pressure to fulfil that role. I feel onlyat ease when he fucks me, and when I does, he fucks me senseless. Fromone extreme into the other. The relaxed middle-ground that I inhabitedas a man for most of the time is gone.I suppose it isn't completely inaccessible for womankind in general. Buteven given that they can enter it, e.g. when home alone, there is muchless room for it in their lives. In mine, there was none at all. Butthat was intentional. Part of my conditioning, so in addition to myaddiction to his sexual favours I also needed him as a retreat from allthese pressures and expectations. And I direly needed to unwind fromtime to time.Take for instance the issue of the male gaze. Being a sex object, Iattracted it and was no longer the one gazing, I was its passivereceiver. That also meant I had no power, it.
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